Monday, May 30, 2005

from grad student to unemployed

so, here i am... survived the weekend... and, not just survived, but had a fantastic time! i had a gagillion relatives here yet everything went off as planned. i saw everyone, there was no trauma or drama, everyone seemed to have a good time... i think this weekend will go down in family history as an example of a successful event. now i have some faith in the dream of having a happy wedding and all of those other huge crazy family events.

i really have lots of stories about the weekend and how i celebrated with my brothers, sisters and cousins... but i'm not totally in the mood to write about all of it. maybe i will just post some of my favorite pictures from the weekend and you can smile when you look at them and wonder?

either way, what i'm going through right now is a very weird part of my transition process. i feel like i'm hovering between two lives... between what i want my life to be (what i'm planning to make it be) and what it really is. as most of you know, i have a lot of online "venues" that i frequent for social and geek reasons. this morning one of the first things i had to do was go to all of my profiles and edit the "occupation sections" from grad student to either college counselor or unemployed. that was weird... again, hovering between my goals and my reality.

i was also editing the location field. some of them got changed to San Diego since that is where i will be as of tomorrow for an indefinite period of time. however, some of my profiles still show me as being located in San Francisco. i still want to be searchable in the bay area categories for a few of my social venues. this location thing is also fucking with my mind. i am so excited to be heading down to San Diego tomorrow... but then again, i'm not. i want to see everyone and hang out and be back in my cute little apartment... but will i get the motivation to schlepp all of my shit back up to SF? i am afraid of getting too comfortable down in SoCal.

well, for now i'm not going to worry about it. i'll become a catatonic insomniac if i do. i am just going to travel, chill with my friends and family, do some wedding planning with Monica, search for jobs, and hope that at the right time the universe will send me the signal i need to know what to do with my life.

No comments: