depressed

i have not been this depressed since... hmmmm... let me think.... Monday May 30th to be exact. it was the day after my graduation weekend and all of my family was gone, and i was about to leave San Francisco and move back to San Diego, and i was all alone all day. it was one of those anti-climactic depressions after a wonderful event, or after some culminating experience that was very meaningful and then just suddenly over.

i write this posting today not looking for pity in regards to my depression, more just to have an outlet to express it. i am a very happy person overall. i enjoy being a happy person. i have a great life and remind myself of that regularly when minor bad things happen. but, when i woke up this morning and i was instantly depressed, i knew it was severe. i ALWAYS wake up happy. people who know me know that. it's almost annoying actually.

my beautiful long wavy hair is gone. i went in for my haircut yesterday looking for some style, something cute, some way to make my flow-y long locks look dynamic or sexy or something. i walked out with a very adorable do, don't get me wrong, it's cute, i'm not saying i hate it... it's great actually... but i never asked for it to be so short.

when i went into my bathroom this morning to scoop up all of the stray hairs that get sprinkled around my world, i noticed they were all long, and had these fat curls at the end of them. it made me almost start to cry. i am convinced that it will take over a year at least for me to get that length back. i may even be so traumatized that i will never cut my hair again. ok, maybe that's an extreme statement. so, how about this... my new statement that i live by when going in for a haircut, "i'm growing it out, i only need a trim." how's that?